September 7, 2010

I never thought I'd have to say...

Any mother will tell you she comes to a point where she realizes there are things she never thought she would say or do...until she became a mother. A new example was created this past weekend when my youngest son dropped his pants and decided to pee on the outdoor playground display at Menard's.

Here are just a few more examples of things I never thought I'd say...until I became a mother of boys:

  • Why is there a dead frog on your dresser?
  • Well just how many grasshoppers do you thing you let loose in the van?
  • Just because you can pee outside doesn't mean you should.
  • There will be no snakes in the house. Ever!
  • Who left a pile of worms on my kitchen counter?!
  • Sorry, but I can't let you wear your Superman cape to Great-Grandma's funeral.
  • It is never okay to look up your neighbor's skirt. I don't care if she said it was okay!!!
  • Why is there a grasshopper on your brother's high chair tray?!
  • Your hamster doesn't need to be in the bathtub with you.
  • Wait until the pee-pee stops before you shake it.
  • I realize you're excited about your praying mantis, but I don't want the jar on the dining room table.
  • Please stop giving bubble gum to the dog!
  • Why are there five toads in your swimming pool?
  • Next time you have worms in your pocket, can you tell mommy? Actually, let's just not put worms in our pocket.
  • When the hamster is roaming the house in his little ball, we do not kick the ball. Nor do we roll it down the stairs.
  • Who dropped (my watch/matchbox car/insert most any noun here) in the toilet?

Keep in mind this is just a short list. It is also not a complete list as I've only been a mother for nine years. I'll revisit this often and repost any time I find mind myself thinking "Well, I never thought I'd be saying that."