September 7, 2010

I never thought I'd have to say...

Any mother will tell you she comes to a point where she realizes there are things she never thought she would say or do...until she became a mother. A new example was created this past weekend when my youngest son dropped his pants and decided to pee on the outdoor playground display at Menard's.

Here are just a few more examples of things I never thought I'd say...until I became a mother of boys:

  • Why is there a dead frog on your dresser?
  • Well just how many grasshoppers do you thing you let loose in the van?
  • Just because you can pee outside doesn't mean you should.
  • There will be no snakes in the house. Ever!
  • Who left a pile of worms on my kitchen counter?!
  • Sorry, but I can't let you wear your Superman cape to Great-Grandma's funeral.
  • It is never okay to look up your neighbor's skirt. I don't care if she said it was okay!!!
  • Why is there a grasshopper on your brother's high chair tray?!
  • Your hamster doesn't need to be in the bathtub with you.
  • Wait until the pee-pee stops before you shake it.
  • I realize you're excited about your praying mantis, but I don't want the jar on the dining room table.
  • Please stop giving bubble gum to the dog!
  • Why are there five toads in your swimming pool?
  • Next time you have worms in your pocket, can you tell mommy? Actually, let's just not put worms in our pocket.
  • When the hamster is roaming the house in his little ball, we do not kick the ball. Nor do we roll it down the stairs.
  • Who dropped (my watch/matchbox car/insert most any noun here) in the toilet?

Keep in mind this is just a short list. It is also not a complete list as I've only been a mother for nine years. I'll revisit this often and repost any time I find mind myself thinking "Well, I never thought I'd be saying that."


  1. I love finding the various odd places boys tend to relieve themselves. Unconventional. The sink of the play kitchen. The airconditioning vent. Creative really.

  2. Today, I said, "Why is my gold bracelet in the freezer?" and "If you want to play outside, you need to wear pants. Or something on your bottom half"-that one was to my daughter who was parading up and down the sidewalk in a shirt and underpants.

  3. "I don't care how cool you think Willie Nelson is, I'm not being seen with you looking like that! Take. It. Off! Or we're not going!" Or "Some things are "Family Things," we don't need to share them with the priest."

  4. I never thought I'd have to tell my kids to "come out of the closet" so much....all of them.